Fear and loathing in Australia

It’s magpie season, and the bastards are out in force – swooping, stalking and heckling us native Aussies. We Australians love our native fauna, drop-bears not included, but of all birds, be they laughing, swooping or flightless – the magpie is the worst, and the bane of every spring.

On a balmy October morning, it ain’t half bad to wander though a park, take in the sunshine and smell the flowers.

Until you hear a rustle in the leaves above.

Don’t look up. Just keep walking, nice and slow. Look, there’s a cute dog! Focus on the cute dog and let your fears melt away…

A piercing CAW shudders down on you – time to pick up the pace. Without a hat or sunnies, you’re a sitting duck. The seasoned pros know not to look up – the searing sun isn’t the only danger in the sky.

The train station is in sight and you’re almost clear of the trees. But it doesn’t matter. The sadistic magpie feels threatened, and it will lash out.

A shadow crosses the sun and a shiver slips down your spine.

Run, mate, run! Cover your eyes! Cover your rat’s tail!

The magpie’s coming to get you, eyes flaming with rage and claws honed to points as sharp as Karen’s from IGA. It’s the black and white killer. The serial pecker. The gouger of eyes.

The Aussie magpie.


Writing prompt: We had 3 visual prompts on the board for this one (the one I chose was a group of birds attacking a girl) and our aim was to use every type of comma in only 2 sentences (in order of use: joining, listing, bracketing, and gapping). I couldn’t stop at 2 sentences; I got into my Aussie voice and I kept going!


Image source: https://imgur.com/gallery/mJ9Q6m5


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